


a place to rest your weary heart

by kungives



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Park Jisung & Zhong Chen Le Are Best Friends, Phone Calls & Telephones, Unresolved Romantic Tension, and stream boom do it, but he's cute so it's okay, chenle has insomnia, chenle is confused, chensung forever, i dont really know what this is tbh, i love my boys!!!, renjun is mentioned briefly, stan nct
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 19:06:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20587538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kungives/pseuds/kungives
Summary: "Shit, you sound exhausted.""It's probably the exhaustion."alternately; jisung thinks he can cure chenle's insomnia. he's doing a pretty good job so far.





	a place to rest your weary heart

**Author's Note:**

> here's a short playlist of songs that i listened to while writing this  
  
[seattle, sam kim](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pxes1qhbdcE)  
[then, gaho ft villain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJMUeFY_E2I)  
[best friend, nct dream](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUKWmDodsMw)  
[lonely, kim woosung](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPHXT8JQLac)  
[i wouldn't know any better than you, gentle bones](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TYQX5OEzzQs)  
[make it right, bts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVVs1loGEVg)  
[colour me, juke ross](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=je559p7W92E)  


It's nearing 3AM when Chenle's phone vibrates. 

He's tucked away safely in bed by now, has been since since 11PM, trying and failing to fall asleep. He's comfortable but it doesn't really make a difference, it never does. 

It's like this almost every night. On the rare, blissful night where Chenle comes home after school dead tired, completely exhausted and ready to drop, he'll crash and sleep for a whole seven hours (seven hours!!!). Most nights, however, he's lucky if he gets three.

Tonight is no different than any other night. After hours of tossing a turning, trying again and again to turn his brain off to no avail, he finds himself a little grateful for the distraction.

It's like this almost every night. He jolts upright immediately, tossing his sheets away from his body, and stretches to grab his phone from his nightstand. The charger falls away as soon as he picks it up and he's too excited to fumble with it, lets it hit the floor. 

It vibrates again in his hand and Chenle isn't surprised to find that he's getting a call. He grins, fumbling to pick it up. He doesn't even need the caller ID to tell him who it is.

"Jisung," he breathes, careful to keep his voice down so as not to wake his family. He cranes his head a bit to look out his window to where Jisung's house is, right next to his, less than fifteen feet away. So close yet so far. He can see his window from here, there's a soft light illuminating his bedroom room, bleeding through sheer curtains and dancing around baby blue walls, probably from the desk lamp that his dad got him for Christmas last year. "What're you still doing up?"

He's not wearing his glasses, but if he squints he can just barely make out the shape of Jisung's upper body sitting at his desk. The boy on the other end scoffs into the receiver, and suddenly there's a deep-ish voice flooding his ears. "You say that every time I call you."

Chenle wrinkles his nose. "Maybe it's because you only call me in the _middle of the night_."

"Fair point. Anyways, I could say the same to you."

Chenle shuffles around a bit until he lands himself into a more comfortable position. He's still kinda sitting up, now leaning against his headboard, head resting back on the wall. It's proven to be a lot of work keeping himself upright, and he'd rather not expend any more energy than necessary. His _brain_ may not be tired but his _body _sure is.

"_You_ called _me_," Chenle points out, feeling a bit sassier than usual. "How do you know I wasn't asleep just now?"

Jisung scoffs again, something he's done so many times in all their years of friendship that Chenle sometimes hears it at 3PM when he's delirious and twitching from all the caffeine in his system, practically frothing at the mouth from sleep deprivation. He's committed it to memory. "_You_? Asleep before the sun is up? That's funny."

"Hey man, you never know. One of these days I'll surprise you."

"I'm anxiously awaiting the day."

It's like this almost every night. Chenle isn't asleep because Chenle_ can't_ sleep and Jisung knows this because Chenle has _never_ been able to sleep. He has a sneaking suspicion that he does it on purpose, you know, stays up 'till ungodly hours just to talk him to sleep. He'd deny it until he's blue in the face, claims he has plenty of things to keep him up at night, like homework and persistent existential dread, but Chenle knows better. No normal 17 year old boy juggling the workload and stress of a senior, keeping up with 3 AP classes and a sport, actually wants to be awake at 3AM.

And yet, here they are. It's like this almost every night. 

Chenle thinks he doesn't really need to know the reason why he does it. Part of him is dying to know as usual (that small part of that he wants to talk about but never does), will forever remain curious, but the other, more reasonable part of him is more than glad to just take what he can get and nothing more. They don't really share many classes this year, so Chenle doesn't see Jisung as much as he'd like. I mean, they _did_ spend the whole summer attached at the hip, sure, but come on. That's his _best friend_. Can anyone really blame him for wanting to be around him as much as possible?

As strange as it sounds, Chenle looks forward to the sleepless nights the most, if only because of Jisung. Solely because of Jisung, solely because Jisung seems to think the same way, has never told him otherwise. Seeing him during the day is great, but he loves the conversations that they have at night, because sometimes it feels like times like these are the only times they can _really_ talk instead of just sharing the same space. Sometimes they talk about deep stuff like dreams and college and relationships, sometimes they gossip, sometimes the joke around and laugh until they can't breathe.

And it's like this almost every night. Jisung calls Chenle because he has nothing better to do and he's getting ready for bed, or so he says. They exchange their usual greetings ("What are you doing up?" "I could say the same to you.") and then there's a brief intermission of dry banter before they get to the talking.

And they _always_ get to the talking.

"Tell me about your day," Chenle suggests. Jisung hums. There's a bit of shuffling on his end, a noise that sounds like a laptop closing, and then Jisung sighs.

"My day was pretty shit, honestly. Mr. Moon gave out way too much homework again. I think I'd rather boil my own teeth than solve another trig equation."

Chenle clicks his tongue and says, "You should've taken Calc." He leaves out the '_with me_' that otherwise would've been tacked onto the end, thinks it might be too much. Believe me, there's nothing that Zhong Chenle hates more than feeling like he's too much. He knows his presence is a lot to handle at times, knows that Jisung is _really_ good at tolerating him, and he doesn’t want to push his limits.

Jisung (sweet, pure Jisung) connects the dots for him (there's no one that knows Chenle better). "At least then we would've been in the same class, right?."

Chenle can feel his face warm up and he's glad that his lights are off, glad that he's in the safety of room where no one can see him. “Yeah.” He suppresses the urge to giggle, but doesn't even try to hide the fact that he's grinning like a fool. You can hear it in his voice. "But, come on, it can't be all that bad."

These are the things he's talking about: those brief moments of elation that he feels whenever Jisung is even remotely nice to him, the ugliness that courses through him whenever Jisung pays attention to someone else. It confuses Chenle to no end, and he wishes he could talk about it but he just can't. Or maybe he's just waiting for the right time, waiting for the right person. He knows Jisung will do his best to understand him, whatever it is he's feeling, but the thought of telling him is enough to make him sweat. He doesn't know why. It doesn't make sense.

"It gets worse," Jisung promises, and Chenle can almost visualize the grim look on his face. "You can't laugh, okay?"

Chenle dramatizes a gasp, scandalized. "I would _never_."

"Yeah, right, anyway. Today, third period, I kind of... spilled an entire beaker of water on someone..."

Chenle agrees that this is bad, no one wants to be doused with water while fully clothed at 10AM on any occasion, but he senses that this isn't all there is. "... And?"

“… And I had just taken it off the fucking _bunsen burner_." 

Okay, yeah, that's pretty bad. "Oh my god, Jisung, are they okay?" 

"Yeah, I think so. She spent the entire day in the nurse's office but it wasn't serious enough to go to the hospital over. I felt so bad about it that I bought her lunch. Didn't get her name, though." 

Chenle feels something ugly twist in his chest but he doesn't have a name for it. He doesn't dwell on it for too long because he knows two things: a) he's felt it before, knows how to deal with it and b) he's way too fucking tired to properly process his emotions right now. So, he stomps it down into a tiny, heart shaped box, locks it up, and shoves it back into the metaphorical closet where it belongs. 

It kind of hurts, Chenle wishes it never happened. He chalks it up to another one of those things that he wants to tell Jisung but he can’t. 

Instead, he says, "Are _you_ alright, though? Did you get burned?" 

"Oh, I'm fine, I guess. It just kinda sucks, I mean... I would have rathered it be me, you know?" Jisung's voice is small when he talks, feeling guilty. Out of the corner of his eye, Chenle can see the soft light flooding Jisung's room disappear and give way to darkness. His heart pulls for him. Park Jisung, ever the empath. 

"Well, you didn't do it on purpose, Jisung. It was an accident. People greater than you make mistakes like that all the time and you're not a terrible person for it. If you were, you would have laughed at her and left her to starve in the nurse's office."

Jisung sighs. He hears a bit of shuffling, probably him getting into bed. "I know, but I still feel terrible about it. And, like, embarrassed. I'm never gonna live this down."

Chenle nods, even though no one can see him but the shadows. "I understand. And I agree. This will follow you until the day you die." 

Jisung sniffs. "What happened to being the nice, supportive best friend?" 

Chenle shrugs, letting his body slowly begin to slide downwards. He closes his eyes, tries and fails to stifle a yawn. "I'm just being honest, man." 

There was a brief pause. For a moment, Chenle thinks he's said something wrong and he internally panics. Jisung swoops in with the save not a moment too late. 

"Shit, you sound exhausted." He sounds a little guilty, even guiltier than he did while talking about the girl from third period.

Chenle chuckles dryly. "It's probably the exhaustion."

Jisung hums softly. He sounds just as tired as Chenle feels. Chenle thinks he should just bite the bullet just this once and let Jisung get some sleep, but Jisung intercepts before he can voice this thought.

"Tell me about your day, too, doofus. We ain't got all night."

Chenle snickers because he's wrong. It's Friday. They've got all night and all day tomorrow too if they wanted. The details of Chenle's day pales in comparison to all the things he wants to tell Jisung but he just can't, things he's not so sure of himself but he wants to share anyway because Jisung is the only person he's ever met that understands him. Maybe it's a consequence of knowing each other all their lives and always living less than fifteen feet away from each other. In a way, it scares him, and it's hard to have courage when it's the ass crack of dawn and you haven't had a good sleep in three weeks.

Besides, if he talked about those things, the fleeting thoughts that are confusing and persistent enough to keep him up at night more than he already is, they really would be here all night. 

So he keeps it inside of him and he tells Jisung about his day. "My day was alright, I guess. Nothing much really happened. Though, I'm beginning to regret letting Renjun talk me into joining musical theatre."

"Really? Four years in the running and you're regretting it now?"

It was true. Renjun guilt tripped Chenle into joining musical theatre when he was a freshman, naive and impressionable. He's never really had any complaints up until now. He actually quite likes it, loves it even. It's fun and helps pass the time doing the two things he loves most: singing and annoying Renjun.

But now that Renjun's graduated he's lost his theatre buddy. Jisung comes to his rehearsals sometimes, sits through every cringey show, but it still gets lonely from time to time. Now that their hyungs have all graduated and moved on to college, he dopesn't really have anyone to bother aside from Jisung, and it's not like Jisung can be with him every second of the day.

"Well... It's different now that Renjun's gone." He admits.

Jisung releases a noise halfway between a snort and a chortle. "You talk about him like he's dead."

Chenle scoffs. "He might as well be. I mean, he never answers my calls or texts."

"Wow, that's rough, Lele. First your best friend leaves for college and then he dies. You've suffered so much."

"Shut up, stop teasing me. You know what I meant." He crinkles his nose. "And he's not my best friend."

Jisung seems to perk up considerably at that, rising to the challenge in Chenle's voice like he was _born_ to do so. "Oh yeah?"

Chenle stands his ground. "Yeah."

"Then who is?"

Chenle hums thoughtfully, pretending to give his answer some thought. "Hmm... Maybe... Mark? No, he's too busy these days. Jaemin? Nah, he's too greasy."

Jisung whines out a pitiful, "Lele--"

"Of course it's you, you idiot. Who else would I talk to like this in the middle of the night? Shit, if Renjun called me right now I probably wouldn't even pick up the phone."

Jisung lets out a little giggle and Chenle can tell he's getting a little sleepy. When he's tired he gets giggly, loopy, and a little bit stupid. Chenle would never admit it as long as he lives but he thinks it's kinda cute.

"It's 'cause you love me the most, right?"

Chenle's stomach gives an involuntary flutter, something he's used to so it's easy to ignore. It's like this almost every night, and it's torture, because Chenle can never tell if Jisung's messing with him or not.

Truth be told, it's all a little messy and neither of them really knows what's going on most of the time, but Chenle wouldn't trade what he has with him for the world. It's scary but in a good way, scary in the way change would be knowing that you'll be able to retain that one core element of your being that makes you _you_, scary in the way losing a limb would be knowing it'll grow back eventually. It makes Chenle's palms sweat, because it's dangerous to be playing this game, exhausting all the same, but he doesn't want to stop.

Jisung is his best friend, that much is an indisputable fact. There are so many things he wants to tell him and so many things he wants to hide at the same time. He doesn't know how long he's felt this way, guesses it's fairly new. For example, Chenle can't remember what he ate for breakfast this morning but he realized sometime last week that he remembers the exact day he met Jisung, down to the last minute detail.

It's strange. He knows Jisung has always been important to him, it's easier to admit than it is to breathe. There's no one else that knows him better than Jisung does. He helps him through the sleepless nights and asks for nothing in return, and that's just something he's _always_ done. He's _always_ said things like that to Chenle, but only recently did it begin to make his heart race.

And he meant it when he said that it's hard to have courage at the asscrack of dawn. It's hard to have courage even during the day, when he's gotten a full 8 hours of undisturbed sleep. It's hard to have courage in general.

But Jisung makes the most terrifying ordeals seem like a cake walk. It's just what he does, the kind of person he is. The only thing he fears is fear itself. It's why he vowed to call him every single night, even if he doesn't pick up, even if he hates him for it. Chenle doesn't know why he does it for sure, but he can make a pretty good guess: Chenle can't sleep and Jisung doesn't want him to be alone or to feel afraid. It's just the kind of person he is, the kind of thing he loves to do. 

And maybe that's why it's so easy to respond like he would any other night, even though it's not like any other night, even though it's right now and Jisung (his wonderful, dopey best friend) is the best thing that's ever happened to him and he's never going to have right now again.

For some reason, it doesn't seem so severe. He knows that no matter what happens Jisung will always be there by his side in some way or another.

It's like this almost every night. Nothing really changes around here. 

And, he realizes as he opens his mouth to respond in the same way he would any other night, face on fire, he's more than okay with that. If it means he can keep Jisung by his side, he'd endure it all.

_"It's 'cause you love me the most, right?"_

"You bet your candy ass, Park Jisung."

**Author's Note:**

> you made it!!!  

> 
> i don't think i ever mentioned explicitly but jisung plays field hockey lol  

> 
>   

> 
> anyway i hope you enjoyed reading this weird little drabble thing!!! kudos and comments are always appreciated, and it only took me like a day to write so i'm not super emotionally invested in it lol feel free to rip it apart  

> 
>   

> 
> anywho love ya don't get sick <3  



End file.
